I had a great life. Life was so good that I didn’t think anything was missing. I was one of those married thirty-somethings who didn’t feel nature’s duty to have children. I would have been fine just living my grand old life with my husband parading around town.
I was a teacher of two kinds. I taught 7th grade and classes at one of our state’s universities. I worked so much I hardly saw my husband during the week but I didn’t care. I made money and money was our ticket to freedom. Having money to do the things I loved was more important than spending time at home.
I loved to go to concerts, run and ski. It was wonderful. I watched for familiar artists to come to town and get the best seats possible. I ran to be alone and escape. It didn’t hurt that it kept me in shape. I lived for ski season where every year I would treat myself to a new ski outfit and we would travel to perfect snow.
I loved to dine out. There was nothing better to me than eating a nice meal out. I liked to go places where I had to dress up. I loved good wine, cocktails, and friends to accompany me. I loved going to our favorite restaurants where everyone knew our name because we went there so much. The cocktails waitresses would bring me a drink without asking because they already knew what I liked. That was VIP service right there. I was haute.
In September 2010 I found out I was pregnant. I had mixed feelings. I knew I was at the age where if I was ever going to be a mom, this was the time. However, I had built a life that I did not want to let go of. I chose to embrace it. On May 13, 2010 my first child was born. Her name is Stella.
I have a great life. I never knew my life could feel so complete. I look at my daughter and can’t believe how much one person could love something so much. I look at my family at the end of the day and there is not much more I can ask for.
I love watching Stella discover new things. I loved watching her hold her head up, then roll over, and now, sit up on her own. I love that she has just discovered her voice, her laugh, and her hands. I am her teacher and can’t wait teach her all of the wonderful things the world has to offer.
I love to go to new places with Stella. I love to watch her eyes widen in amazement as she soaks in new sites and new people. I pass up chances to do things where I cannot take her. When I am away from her I get anxiety because I miss her so much.
I have cut back on working. I have taken a leave from one of my jobs to stay at home with Stella for awhile. This has been difficult for us financially but we are doing what we can to make ends meet by giving up a lot of the things we used to do. While money is extremely important, I would rather cut back on other things so that I can spend time with my daughter and as a family.
I love to order in. I don’t like to take Stella to restaurants where she is overwhelmed. I like her to be comfortable and be able to play or have some tummy time while her father and I eat. Better yet, now that she is eating solids, I love having her at the table with us watching and learning how to use her new found skills.
I love being in sweat pants because they are comfortable and I can get on the ground with Stella to play or lay on the floor while she does tummy time. They also hide my new found mom curves that are souvenirs from my pregnancy.
The other day I was taking Stella to lunch and I caught a glimpse of myself in her backseat mirror while I was putting her car seat in. I looked at my disheveled hair and my make-up free face. I looked down at my outfit; my plain shirt, sweats, and flip flops. I
I realized then and there how much my life had changed. The old one was a faint memory in just five short months. I looked back at myself and realized one thing. I have done the greatest thing a human could ever do – I created, nurtured, and gave birth to a child. I am a mom and I am haute.