Wednesday, December 1, 2010
You truly never realize how much someone means to you until that moment your faced with the possibility that you might lose them forever. My daddy is going to be having surgery today and it made me think back years ago to the day that I thought I was going to lose him.
It was the week of that September 11th happened but the week itself was nothing to special to me since of course September 11th hadn't happened yet. I was your typical teenager raging against the man (mom and dad), I was wild and carefree and was constantly arguing with my parents becaue of course they were always wrong in my book back then. It had been one of those weeks and I was mad at my dad (I can't even tell you what I was mad about probably something stupid) and I decided that I wasn't going to talk to him.
I came home from school that day, I was a junior in highschool, and plopped down in front of the tv like I always did turned straight to MTV to catch the latest music videos. I heard the sound of my dads truck pull into the driveway and I prepared myself for giving him the silent treatment but he didn't come straight in the house (he rarely ever did). He went around back to his workshop to do some woodworking. I heard the table saw come on like I have so many times before but after a few minutes I got this weird feeling something didn't feel right, I thought I heard a scream but I couldn't tell because the television was up way to loud. I dismissed it at first but there was a weird silence, I didn't hear the saw cutting anything anymore and something just didn't feel right.
I jumped up from my usual seat on the couch and looked out into the back yard from the family room no one was there, that feeling got worse. I ran to the living room to peer out the front window but the angle was off and I couldn't fully see over to the driveway, I didn't see anyone but I could see the bed of my dads truck. I began to feel worried and decided to venture out into the garage and see what was going on.
I pressed the button to open the garage and as it slowly began to open my eyes were met by a driveway covered in blood. I panicked all I could see was blood and as the door lifted more and more I began to see my dad something had gone terribly wrong in the back yard but I couldn't tell what was wrong all I could see was the blood and my dad just laying there in the driveway. Thank God we lived in one of those close knit suburban communities because apparently the neighbors had heard the screams to. People were rushing out of their houses running down to my house. I was frozen in terror, I just kept thinking I was so mad at him and now I can't even say that I am sorry, that I was wrong that I will be better please just don't leave me. The tears began to well up in my eyes and I couldn't move I was just standing there in shock.
Someone screamed at me to call 911 but I couldn't move and then I did I ran and got the phone I dialed the numbers but I couldn't talk. I couldn't say anything my dad was just lying there losing blood and I couldn't open my mouth, I couldn't stop crying a neighbor grabbed the phone and took over. They kept telling me that it was going to be okay but I just couldn't comprehend any of that. Finally the ambulance showed up and they got my dad in the back and they brought me over and my face was all wet with tears and I was so scared that my daddy wasn't going to be okay. They knew I need him to tell me that everything was going to be fine. He was in and out but he mustered up enough energy to tell me he was going to be okay, the waterworks began all over again it was just so upsetting.
I still didn't know what had happened and my mom still wasn't home from work. We called her but I still was unable to talk through all the crying. She finally made it home and we went to the hospital where he was taken to surgery. We late found out that he was running a piece of wood threw the table saw and it got stuck and ejected back out at full speed hitting his hand in such away that it took his finger half way off. He was lucky enough to only lose a finger that day and I was lucky enough to get many more days, weeks, months and years with my dad.
As a side note that was one of the worst weeks of my life my dad lost his finger, then a few days later I come home to find that my cat had gotten stuck in a fishing lure and had to be rushed to see the vet to have it removed ( so my dad was all wrapped up and so was my cat Ashes) and then a few days after that 9/11 happened. It was on tragic moment after the next. Always remember to cherish each and every moment that you have with your loved ones because you truly never know when something tragic may happen and you won't get that chance to tell them that you love them. I was lucky because my dad is still here but in that moment I knew how much I really loved him and how heartbroken I would be if anything ever happened to him
Please send good thoughts my daddy's way for his surgery today.