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Monday, September 13, 2010

40 is NOT the New 20

I am warning you right now before you read any further you may be offended by my views on this but here goes. So I have recently noticed and influx of older individuals having kids and I must say why oh why have you done this to your children.

Listen people I am all for having a family and having kids and all that jazz but sometimes you have to be reasonable. When you have a child later in life yea you have your career set and your priorities straight (some people not all) but you also set your kids up to have no life what so ever.
Think about it like this say you wait to have a child when you are 45 well that means that you are going to be 65 when you are child is in his or her 20’s and 75 when your child is in his or her 30’s. You all maybe thinking well that’s not bad yea its not bad if you are in good health and are still productive but with the way the environment is and people’s habits are these days you might not be so lucky.

So basically your decision to wait to have a child has drastically impacted your children’s lives and your grandchildren’s lives because your children should be out discovering the world and figuring out who they are and all that other nonsense kids say they are doing but instead they are stuck trying to take care of your elderly ass. And don’t get me started on your grandkids because now grandma and grandpa are far too old to go outside and run and play with them all they can look forward to on their visits is wheeling you around in your wheelchair and handing you the glass that has your false teeth in it.

So I want to give a shot out to all you old parents out there way to keep your kids from having a life of their own .

So in fact 40 is not the new 20 just accept menopause and turn the fan on because I know a hot flash is coming soon.


Saran said...

This was a great post! Many consider it ideal to have a child in your 20s because of the age disparity you describe. Unfortunately when I look at some of these 20 yr olds today, I pray that they do not reproduce any time soon! There seems to be a shift in maturity level, and unfortunately for many it's coming later. I look at my friends, and many of us were married with kids and in our own homes in our 20s and early 30s. I now see so many 20yr olds out there that are incredibly immature - in too many ways to count. (And yes, I know there are some mature 20yr olds out there.) While it's ideal to have as many years possible (God willing) with your children, the way folks are now, I'd rather see a 40 yr old new mother than a 20 yr old one.

Danielle said...

Thank you for taking the time to stop by. Yeah some 20 year olds are nowhere near ready for a child but I am thinking more 25-35 as a prime age for having kids. I had my son at the age of 23 and I feel like it has been by far the best experience of my life and at the same time. I won't be rasing a child into retirement.

Amy said...

Interesting topic and I have to say that, for the most part, I couldn't agree with you more. I had my first son when I was 26. I had long before decided that I didn't want to be one of those old, worn-out moms. I wanted to have all the children I was going to have before I turned 36. I want to have stamina to play with my kids and be involved in their lives. I also want to be able to enjoy my grandkids. My husband's dad didn't marry til he was 45 and, though it's not the same situation as choosing to wait til you're 40 to have kids, at 82 years old he is slowing down. I'm already sad to know that some of our children who are yet to be born may not know their papa past early childhood.
BTW I found you through the entrecard on my blog. Glad I did!


Annie said...

This has been a hot topic in our household too for a few reasons. When I was 40 I experienced an accidental pregnancy. I already had a son in High School and I felt silly being pregnant at my age. It surely didn't feel "cute" like it did when I was 24. Unfortunately, my awkwardness was solved for me as health reasons caused the pregnancy to be terminated early. ( I know that is a whole other issue, but let's not go there right now). I am currently enjoying watching my son thrive in his senior year of college alongside his girlfriend of 3 years hoping they decide to have babies after school so I can still be a "hip" Grandma. I want to take my grandkids to Disney World and everywhere else cool grandparents do! I also do not know how I would have put another one through college 16 years later. But, this is just me!

Danielle said...

Annie thank you for your comment. This is a topic that hits really close to home for me because my mom has been experiencing this for years. My grandmother had my mother later in life and mom has spent a lot of her adult life having to everything she does because she has to care for my grandmother. She wants to be able to enjoy going on vacation and taking time off but its hard knowing that your mother needs you there. To make matters worse my grandmother has Alzheimer. I think that more people really need to take these things into consideration.

Terrisha "Tree" Harris said...

This topic hits a little home to me because of my mother who was 41 when she got pregnant with my little sister a year and a half ago. All three of her other children (myself included)are grown either 21yrs and older. It was interesting and quite comical to watch my mother be pregnant and deal with all the newborn issues. She often said it was like being a first time mom again because she had to learn everything as if it was her first child and alot of things have changed in the past 26 yrs since she has had me. But I have to admit that watching my mom go through the process of being mother to a baby actually inspired me to be a better mom. Since she is older and has been there and done that she is alot more patient than I am. She has also taught me that everything isnt going to be perfect all the time and to kind of go with the flow. Since our kids are only a year and a half apart (yes my son is older than is aunt) it has created this kind of mom's club between us where we share advice and tips on kids, marriage, and life. She has undoubtely become my best friend. I feel her age really dosent play apart into my sisters life. My mom can keep up with the youngest of moms. Although age is important I dont think it is that big of a factor as long as you doing what needs to be done to raise a child to become a postive impact on society.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed this article but to me age shouldn't matter if you can offer a stable, loving environment. I am in my late 30s and after earning several degrees and working in the educational system for a decade and a half, I finally feel like I can offer a good life to a child. I have also just met someone I would like to share that experience with. So I say, go for it! My parents are in their early 60s and doing fine but when the time comes where they need my help, I will be there. Not only will I be there but so will my children. I will raise them to look at taking care of their parents or grandparents as a privilege not a chore. I for one was only fortunate enough to have one grandparent in my life and we do not have a close relationship, by her choice. So if my children and I spend a Friday night taking mom and dad to the store, I consider it time well spent. I hope that my children will past this blessed time on to their children as well.

Anonymous said...

You can olny hope that your kids and grandkids will respect your views and that is as much as you can hope for... end of story. Hurry up wait and see. In respone to Oct. 12,2010 @8:14Pm. I can talk the talk because, I'm walking the walk. I know people who have out lived all of their love ones.

Anonymous said...

I really have a hard time understanding anyone who is bitter because they have the opportunity to take care of their loved one. I remember being as young as 8 years old accompanying my mother to care for my father's aging mother. I remember washing her long gray hair as she told my mother and I her life stories. I know for both of us it was a treasured time that was deeply missed when she past. My parents never felt burdened or trapped by having a aging parent. My father was a late life child and had plenty of siblings that could have helped but his love for his mother made him desire to be the one to offer her his love in those last days. I went along for the ride and feel blessed that I was able to be there on the journey of life. So as far as talking the talk, I have talked it. As far as walking the walk, I have walked it and hopefully I will be able to Walk the long journey again. No regrets ever!

Lameisha said...

Giiirl, you are so wrong for this post. Lmbo!

My friend and I had this conversation last week. He was telling one of the young ladies he works with the same thing.

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